My H.E.A.R.T. Story

To set the context: My current life song has been Samurai Sword by Highasakite.  I love deep/sad music because it helps me connect to the parts of me I don't always know how to address. I have been listening to this on repeat for days. I showed this song to Noemi when I got to Texas and we both had it on repeat during the trip. She is also a 4 on the ennegram (if you don't know your number look it up).  Sunday night we decided to stay in and eat homemade flan (although I was not allowed into the kitchen). The rain began to fall. It was gentle at first and quickly became a thunderstorm. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R1QB0m91RY  (listen to this before reading the rest) This poem is dedicated to anyone who has every struggled with their faith, connection to the universe, or place in this world. You are not alone and whatever your belief system is, you absolutely matter! Love Like A Rainstorm  Rain falls down All I can do it look out the window I see your...

I walked in the door of the rusted coffee shop. Tears flowed from my eyes before I speak a word. "I am sorry I am late." I say out loud. But inside I say "I am afraid you will reject me." The stakes are low. A friend wanting to catch up but I am already thinking the worst. I delay my attendance to a meeting. My heart feels heavy and I have nothing to give. "I haven't ate." I say out loud "I am afraid." my heart screams out. They don't know how to address me. I have no idea how to stop this feeling. I drive away when you jumped out the car. My heart heard - you didn't want me at all. You really said you would be right back. I head home you call my phone. I worried you don't care You are worried you said something wrong. This list goes on and my heart is really raw. I don't know how to soothe this pain on my own. Wounds from forever and forever ago. After reflection I can see I have needs that...