My H.E.A.R.T. Story

I wrote this a few years ago thinking about a significant relationship in my life that ended.  I decided to honor my feelings and rewrite a few sections. I am shaped by my environment, my world, and the people that come into my life. I cannot take this time back it has become apart of my story so I am just embracing all the different parts of me. I think it is important to embrace our emotions.  Accept our past, face our future. Speak out what is real and true and live in it.  A Box where the boundaries of Love lay with in Molded by our past All with myths, untruths, and Sin We still managed a path Exposed by the movie screens and the grand false expectation  Our Scene doesn't begin in the most natural place. But through it all... Love made a way Brokenness and dysfunction followed us all the way through but somehow we managed to ignore it and see the rawness in me the rawness that makes you -you.  We walked on suc...

 If I close my eyes I can remember. Remember what it used to be like before everything changed. Before I got rescued by thorns and nails. I can take a deep breath and tell myself not to forget. Never forget where you where. I can travel back to that time.... To a time of soul torture and   Sometimes If I dwell to long I can almost taste the pain No desire to wake up Please clock tell me you are deceiving me I am not ready to face this day Five more minutes might be all I get to hide away There has to be more then I am getting... Getting out of bed at the last possible minute Getting Dressed in a coat of Heaviness My legs pulled down with shame A large belt of guilt resting close to my stomach My upper body is clothed with sadness especially right next to my heart Tears are already forming at my eyes but I wipe them because anger is taking over. Its the only way to Survive. Survival-Not sure how I am d...

Recently a Counseling Professor invited students to watch and reflect critically on the movie Inception . This concept of inception is not far off from reality, because people do this to each other all the time (knowingly and unknowingly). We discovered there is a strong connection to the movie and how Therapist can "plant ideas" into clients paths of thinking. In a client/therapist relationship there is a necessary need for the client to trust the therapist which causes a power differential, even if slightly.Many relationships have a power differential and the timing of the ideas being planted matters most. One of the most vulnerable times ideas/values are planted into our minds and patterns of thinking is when we are children. Children assess ideas based on experience. Does mom always respond to my needs? Am I ignored by my parents? Who do they say that I am, good, bad, ugly, pretty, smart, lazy, rebellious? I finally had the time and opportunity to address ...

An old box of letters lay at the bottom of my other boxes... covered in dust almost forgotten. In an attempt to clean things up and throw out the trash of my past I intended to throw them all away, but curiosity got the best of me. I only planned to open one..... Over and over I fished through the sea of colorful envelopes all with the title "Angela" One ready "your the kindest person I know..." another said" Angela what do I do?' "Your words of poetry invokes me" "I am so grateful for you" Whatever happen to that girl? The one that everyone loved to dearly? I let some loved ones slip through my fingers and tears consume me now. How could I have been so blind? Now I have a new identity and I am having to rebuild everything I lost. Sadness would be the primary feeling but I choose to look past that one. I am very grateful for the people that have come into my life. Even if for a short time they have helped shape me. Sha...