Foundational Rules of Life-#1 Love Thy Self
There are lots of things that are out of balance in this world and I think one of them is the way we love ourselves v.s. how we love others. Our culture at large celebrates companionship and leaves an unspoken rule of unworthiness if you do not or cannot find a companion. Who cares if you are content alone or if you have contributed to the advancement of the world....can you make a relationship last?
Our society celebrates being in a relationship. I have noticed a the pull towards romanticizing reality. I am a type 4 on the enneagram I tend to do that anyways. Movies, music, and literature hype up the life changing moment when you meet the "one" and illustrate the daunting reality when that connection is severed. Even if disconnecting is for the health of each individuals is it still pretty damn scary.
I have noticed that my clients (and myself) struggle with the concept of self love. It feels selfish and counter intuitive therefore pursuing self-care is not a priority. I struggle to love myself because I was taught to love others. Even my faith molds me into a giving servant who does not ask of anything. My role is to be a loving spouse, daughter, volunteer, and community member. If I do not meet the standards of these roles then I am the one failing.
Yet my heart hurts because people do not know how to love me unless I teach them how to. Each of us have things that make us feel loved, cared for, safe, special, and heard. The people in our lives (not just romantic partners) learn how to care for us when we show them and tell them how to. I had no idea a friend of mine feels cared for when she receives small meaningful gifts or another friend feels safe when there is not pressure to talk about stuff. We each have unique ways to reach our hearts.
This means we plan an important role in self love. We have to be the ones to nurture our soul the best because our happiness cannot be dependent on others. Others can make life better yet they can really mess it up for us. People may leave (even when they don't want to) and we are still left with ourselves. We still hold the most power for our wellbeing, yes! It also kinda sucks...trust me I know.
What do you need and want to thrive? Whatever it is....DO THAT FOR YOURSELF! Not only do you serenade yourself with positivity and love you are setting a standard for others. You are also putting positive vibes into the universe that indicate you desire a higher level of love.
A few weeks ago I needed some external signals of love so instead of waiting around for someone else to pick up the vibe or respond to me I went and bought myself some organic fair trade flowers. I know it sounds silly but it made me feel very cared for and I was not mad at anyone for "reading my mind." I invite you to start loving on yourself today.
Our society celebrates being in a relationship. I have noticed a the pull towards romanticizing reality. I am a type 4 on the enneagram I tend to do that anyways. Movies, music, and literature hype up the life changing moment when you meet the "one" and illustrate the daunting reality when that connection is severed. Even if disconnecting is for the health of each individuals is it still pretty damn scary.
I have noticed that my clients (and myself) struggle with the concept of self love. It feels selfish and counter intuitive therefore pursuing self-care is not a priority. I struggle to love myself because I was taught to love others. Even my faith molds me into a giving servant who does not ask of anything. My role is to be a loving spouse, daughter, volunteer, and community member. If I do not meet the standards of these roles then I am the one failing.
Yet my heart hurts because people do not know how to love me unless I teach them how to. Each of us have things that make us feel loved, cared for, safe, special, and heard. The people in our lives (not just romantic partners) learn how to care for us when we show them and tell them how to. I had no idea a friend of mine feels cared for when she receives small meaningful gifts or another friend feels safe when there is not pressure to talk about stuff. We each have unique ways to reach our hearts.
This means we plan an important role in self love. We have to be the ones to nurture our soul the best because our happiness cannot be dependent on others. Others can make life better yet they can really mess it up for us. People may leave (even when they don't want to) and we are still left with ourselves. We still hold the most power for our wellbeing, yes! It also kinda sucks...trust me I know.
What do you need and want to thrive? Whatever it is....DO THAT FOR YOURSELF! Not only do you serenade yourself with positivity and love you are setting a standard for others. You are also putting positive vibes into the universe that indicate you desire a higher level of love.
A few weeks ago I needed some external signals of love so instead of waiting around for someone else to pick up the vibe or respond to me I went and bought myself some organic fair trade flowers. I know it sounds silly but it made me feel very cared for and I was not mad at anyone for "reading my mind." I invite you to start loving on yourself today.
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